May 14, 2006

  • "... his mother treasured all these things in her heart"   Luke 2:51



May 11, 2006


  • We have a friend who has a lot of little sayings to remind her children to be of good character. Over the years, we’ve adopted some of her ‘~isms’ and made them our own. It seems the one we have repeated more than any other has been:


                                          


    “There is nothing more precious than a grateful child …


    and the opposite is also true”.


     


    As we’ve raised our children and ministered to others who are doing so, I’ve come to believe that the problem of ungratefulness plays a powerful role into the attitudes of rebellion, pride, anger, greed, intolerance, selfishness and so much more.


     


    And for me … even though I know that my motive for doing things should not be to receive thanks, I just want to do more for those who are thankful. I just like to be appreciated!


     


    I think God likes to be appreciated too. So much so that there are close to 150 references to praise and thanks in the NIV version of the Bible.


     


    Paul, in his letter to the Romans, speaks of the foolishness of ungrateful men.


     


    “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools”    Romans 1:21, 22


     


    He talks about all the blessings around them that could be clearly seen, but weren’t. The sin that led to the depravity and idolatry he speaks of?  … failing to be thankful.


     


    So … I have this little notebook. I call it my ‘Gratefulness Journal’. In this little book, I keep a running list of the blessings and gifts that God lovingly bestows on me … the things that make me smile. Doing this keeps my mind focused on who God is. Some of the things on my list are monumental and some are simple … all, however, are my clearly seen reasons to give praise and thanks.


     


    It’s been almost four months since Dustin was killed in Iraq. These last months have been difficult ones. Losing our son has taken us to a darker place than we’ve ever been before. Our wound is deep and our hearts feel a pain that sometimes feels too much to bear. Even so … in the course of our journey, God has comforted us and blessed us in so many incredible ways. Some of His gifts have been monumental … some have been simple … all however, have been clearly seen reasons to give Him praise and thanks.


     


    We’d like to tell you all about the Shapes and Sizes of God’s Comfort since we began our journey but that would take quite a while.


     


    Instead, we’d just like to share our list with you … 


      



    That God orchestrated it so our friend, Ken, would be able to tell us of Dustin’s death


     


    That Mike and Deb held our hands and our hearts after we heard


     


    For Deb’s hand on my shoulder while I called my kids to tell them the news


     


    For Deb, who cleaned our flat, washed clothes, mopped my floors, brought me tea, made my bed … got me ready to leave Estonia


     


    For Janice who helped clean Kayli’s room and brought us dinner … and helped the Tartu girls finish their sewing project for the homeless while we were gone


     


    That the Army paid for Kayli’s trip to the States, even though it wasn’t ‘protocol’


     


    For the sweet man on the airplane in Charleston who said, ‘Thank you for your sacrifice for my freedom’


     


    For the military escort from the airport


     


    For our Army CAO’s (Casualty Assistance Officers) in Estonia, South Carolina & Arlington


     


    For church members who brought blankets, shampoo, diapers, laundry detergent, milk and orange juice every morning, food … food … food


     


    For Flora who organized all the food and washed dishes … forever


     


    For Wayne who took Kayli (on his motorcycle) to get her hair cut before the memorial svc.


     


    For Granbury friends who got off the airplane, put on their blue jeans and unpacked Amber’s moving truck


     


    For Claudia who brought books to the kids to help in their grieving


     


    For letters / photos from Dustin’s friends


     


    For special friends who came from far away to attend his memorial service and Arlington service


     


    For the Summerville church who fed us and our guests at the memorial service


     


    For phone calls from old friends


     


    For the Kathy Troccoli “Comfort” CD from Gretta


     


    For the many, many gifts of love … money to help with expenses, books, haircuts, eye exams, dr’s. visits, dinner dates, massages, quilt from the 4th infantry wives


     


    For Mary, my long time friend, who got up at 6 a.m., to come make us her famous ‘strawberry pancakes’ … just because she loves us.


     


    For the many flowers, plants and memorial gifts in his name


     


    For the people who have lost children and were (are) willing to share their hearts with us


     


    For the scrapbooks, video, programs, etc. that the Army sent from their memorial services for Dustin


     


    For my sweet son-in-laws who made the slide show for the memorial service


     


    For funny stories from Dustin’s friends


     


    For tributes, articles and news stories


     


    For flags flown at half-staff over the U.S. Capital and the Arkansas State Capital … and for receiving them


     


    For the people in Delaware who made it possible for us to see our sweet boy, one more time


     


    For letters of condolence from the Army, government officials and … President Bush


     


    For Brad and Allen ~ Dustin’s best friends


     


    For Allen’s gift to Kayli … in Dustin’s honor


     


    For Dustin’s heart of generosity shared ~ the stories of him giving his money away (when we thought he was just blowing it)


     


    For the beautiful service at Arlington


     


    That Dustin received the ‘Bronze Star’ for outstanding service


     


    For the duplicate of Dustin’s flag / medals presented to his brother/sisters at Arlington


     


    For God’s provision


     


    For friends willing to just sit with us … cry with us … listen to us


     


    For the lake house in Granbury, so we had a chance to be alone … and for a full freezer of food when we arrived


     


    For HUGS!!


     


    For Jenna’s sweet hug when I was crying … “Grammy, ya cry-un?” … “Ya, sad?” … “Unca Dussin?” … “I saw-ree”


     


    For Courtney’s amazing, generous heart


     


    For the hearts of Dustin’s big sisters … and his little one


     


    For Jared's heart .. and his many hugs


     


    For SGT Hall, our South Carolina CAO and new family friend


     


    For laughter in the midst of pain


     


    For memories of good times shared


     


    For hundreds of cards and emails


     


    For the memorial slide show from Iraq


     


    For the "In Remembrance"  guestbook


     


    For the tribute ~ "The Experience"


     


    For Jen, Dustin’s special girl … and ours


     


    For the “Hero” statue from Amber


     


    For the scrapbook and photo book made by Courtney


     


    For the renewal of old friendships


     


    For new friends made


     


    For John, who made Court his prayer ‘project’ and for being our special friend


     


    For Karen … What can I say?!! There is too much to list


     


    For watching “Pink Panther” and eating Mexican food with George


     


    For the pewter angel from Karen


     


    For my ‘memorial’ bracelet


     


    For all the ‘grandmas’ who reached out and loved on Kayli


     


    For those who took Kayli home for the weekend so she could just be a ‘little girl’


     


    That Jared could go on the Mexico mission trip and for his safe return


     


    For friends at the airport


     


    For kind words from strangers


     


    For the insensitive words that will help us remember to guard our tongues in the future


     


    For Jimmy who drove all the way from Louisiana to South Carolina with Amber, so she wouldn’t have to drive alone


     


    For friends who understand and know that a hug is better than a thousand words


     


    For the bronze statue from the Army with Dustin’s name on it … “Fallen Soldier”


     


    For Dustin’s Army friends in Iraq who loved him and miss him


     


    For those who were with him after the accident … and held him until he was taken to the hospital


     


    For his captain and sergeant who were with him at the hospital when he died


     


    For Dustin’s military reward coins that were sent from the Army


     


    For the little velvet bags that held his wallet, his dog tags and his watch ~ the things he had with him when he died


     


    That his body was attended and escorted from his death to his burial


     


    For the ‘Honor Guard’ at Arlington


     


    For the Brigadier General who escorted me to the burial site and cried when he presented me with Dustin’s Bronze Star


     


    For the chaplain at Arlington who reminded us that Dustin no longer needs faith ~ now he has knowledge


     


    For the people in Maryland who kept us (and all the girls and their families) and fed us so we could be close to Arlington Cemetery


     


    That Kathy & David were at his memorial service in Ft. Carson


     


    For books on grieving / pictures of heaven


     


    For old photos


     


    For video of Dustin the last time we were together as a family ~ for the special message from him that said ‘I love you mom and dad’


     


    For Dustin’s “my.space” where he said that his mom and dad were his heroes


     


    For his friend that told us about the ‘my.space’ page


     


    For grandbaby giggles / hugs


     


    For son-in-laws, who were also his special friends


     


    For Dustin’s gifts to us


     


    For Linda’s reassurance … and her prayer on the phone


     


    For the Vietnam veteran’s gift of the memorial lithograph that he’s had for 30 years


     


    That Dane made a special presentation page with a photo and history of the lithograph so we could keep it with us


     


    For Nathan’s gift to Brandi


     


    For the shadow box from Kim/Eric with the poem written by Gayla before she died


     


    That the scripture says that Dustin’s spirit has been ‘perfected’ and now he is among our ‘cloud of witnesses’


     


    That we found Dustin’s ‘Rufus’ in his treasure box


     


    For the care package from Deb ~ a tea party in a box


     


    For the hours that Adrian spent working on the ‘updated’ memorial slide show … and for the hours he and Court spent copying, addressing and mailing the 30+ copies to those who wanted one


     


    For those who said how much it meant to receive one


     


    Finding Dustin’s letters from boot-camp


     


    Invitations to lunch, supper and coffee


     


    Sharing w/ the church at Bryant


     


    Seeing everyone at Summerdale


     


    Sharing Allison’s birthday with Billy and Louise … and for the time we had to remember together our sweet babies that we had lost


     


    For the elderly lady who told us of the time Dustin took her to lunch because she was lonely … and for the elderly man who remembered the times when Dustin went fishing with him


     


    For the ‘Honor Wall’ at Ruby Tuesday’s


     


    For receiving his personal belongings and finding his bible ~ with the little (post-it) love notes I had tucked in it before I mailed it to him at boot-camp, still there


     


    For eating ‘Alfredo/Mushroom Steak’ (his favorite) at Ruby Tuesday’s with people who loved him


     


    For the memorial car magnets from the people he worked with


     


    For Kevin, who helped do his taxes


     


    For the secretaries/staff at Granbury


     


    For Hershey’s Hugs / Kisses from Kat


     


    For Wilma being the ‘mom’ I don’t have


     


    For Mamma Wilma’s hospitality and Papa Ray’s stories … and his tears


     


    For dinner at Cracker Barrel with Ray/Wilma and the Bagley’s, for old times sake


     


    For the phone call from my dad


     


    For fellowship with Todd/Jen


     


    For the memory of Dustin telling Kayli the last time we were together … “Just do whatever mom tells you, trust me, it’s easier”


     


    For finding the little sign in his personal belongings that I had made him as a joke … “If all else fails, do it the way your mother told you to”


     


    Finding out that he had taken the afghan I had made him all the way to Iraq


     


    Knowing the church in Tartu was being taken care of while we were away ~ Mike, Geoff, and Zach driving there every week


     


    For Jaime’s photograph of Dustin


     


    For our trip to Disney World … and the gift of the condo there


     


    For ‘love notes’ from Estonia


     


    For Pille who took care of everything while we were away … and made sure my plants were well fed


     


     … and so much more



    Our gifts of God’s care and comfort have come through those of you who He sent in our time of need. We are forever grateful! May God bless you as much as you have blessed us.

May 8, 2006

  • Someone has said ... "The only way out is through".


    These days we're walking "through" ... through the darkness, through the tears, through the pain, through the emptiness, through the loneliness, through the sadness, through daily living, through the joys, through the blessings, through the memories ... "Through".


    Thank you for praying us 'through'.

April 30, 2006

  • It was a good Lord's Day. Only 17 at church but we had fun. We started classes again today after having only worship time since we left in January. We had a hard time getting all the giggly girls focused on their task, but in the end we did get them all under control =0).


    After services, 8 of us descended on the unsuspecting patrons at the Saastu Market and bought a few bags of groceries for our sweet sister, Eva, who has been sick. We all tromped up the 5 flight of stairs to deliver them to her, gave her lots of hugs and prayed with her.


    Then ... we went to the shopping center, ate Italian food, shopped for scrapbooking supplies (which has just been introduced to Estonia) and once again, the giggly girls acted very silly.


    Brandi, the taxi driver, and I delivered all the occupants of our vehicle to their perspective homes and came home for a nap!


    Tomorrow is May 1 ... May Day in Estonia, the day to celebrate the end of winter and the dawn of new life. For the Kendall's ... it's a day to clean out all the cobwebs that hid under and around things while we were gone.


    Have a Happy May Day .... God Bless! pj

April 29, 2006

  • The following is an entry from Brandi's journal on April 19, 2006. For those of you who did not know about his page, thought you might enjoy reading this.


     


    The Truth Is . . .


     


    The Scriptures say, "God commanded light to shine in the dark." Now God is shining in our hearts to let you know that his glory is seen in Jesus Christ. We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real power comes from God and not from us. We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don't know what to do, we never give up. In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again. (2Co 4:6-9:CEV)


      


    The truth is . . . it hurts!


     


    Whether we are missionaries on a foreign field, students in some local college or school, retired in Texas, or struggling along at some other location and point in life, there are some things that simply hurt when we have to face them. No amount of faith, hope, assurance, trust or certainty will change that. The truth is . . . sometimes it hurts, and hurts deeply.


     


    Paul recognized and shared an important truth in this second letter to the Corinthians. He didn’t say that he hadn’t suffered, faced frustration, or found himself face down in places he wish he hadn’t. Rather, the truth he shared was that sometimes the things he faced were beyond him. He did suffer! He did feel lost and without direction at times. Troubles came, and there were times when he had been knocked completely off his feet. But Paul had made a decision. In light of what he knew he could not do in the face of these things, he would let God be and do in him what only God could. He would let God show himself to be the source of strength Paul personally could not provide.


     


    I don’t hear Paul saying that the struggles are any less real, or that they last any amount of time shorter than they might otherwise. He says only that when these difficult times came his way, the going on, getting up, and moving through to health and strength would be recognized in the end for what it was. . . not Paul, but God.


     


    For now, I confess . . . it hurts. The deepness of it is amazing, unexpected, and teaching me so much of what Paul had already realized. It is beyond me. I’m not sure yet how far this particular journey will take me. I’m not sure yet what exactly I will face as each day and new circumstance confronts me. I only know that when I get to that place where I am finished and can go no further, there will be one who will be waiting and ready to provide the strength, the will to go on, the presence I need, and the ability to get up and take what ever the next step might be.



     


    “Father, In the midst of this darkness, allow me to see the fingerprint of your presence, and what ever direction this journey may take, let the light of your glory be seen in the getting up and going on that will come only through you in the end. Because your son has shown us the way. . . to His glory, and in His name.”

April 27, 2006

  • It's been over two weeks since we returned to Estonia and we've managed to stay pretty busy since our arrival.


    We were welcomed back to our little 'home-away-from-home' by a special greeting party ... Mike, Debbie, Jaime, Ron, Judy, Speedy, Mary, Julia and Lydia. What a blessing to be greeted by such beautiful faces.


    We spent a few days with the Bank's family in Tallinn before heading home to Tartu. We had a lot to catch up on ~ all that had gone on in Estonia in our absence and all that had gone on with our family since Dustin's death. We've known the Bank's family for more than 25 years and our families have truthfully grown up together. The loss we have felt, they have felt as well. We spent many hours sharing his memorial service/slide show, telling stories, laughing  ... and crying together, as we remembered our sweet boy and realized what a hole we all feel in our lives since he has left this earth.


    We returned to Tartu on Friday, the 14th, one day short of the 3-month anniversary of Dustin's death. I confess ...  it was much more difficult than I expected it to be. Standing in my kitchen the next day, I realized that I had stood in that very place exactly 3 months before ... our son was taking his last breath, being escorted by an honor guard of angels to his new home in Paradise and I didn't know it. Maybe if I had been in a quiet place, I would have heard the angels singing as they brought him into the open arms of Jesus. What a beautiful sound that must have been!


    As God always does, he knew exactly what we needed. Our arrival at church the next morning was met with an enthusiastic shout of  "Surprise"! Other than the fact that I almost had a heart attack, that was wonderful . Our precious church had made a huge "Welcome Home" sign for the foyer, cleaned up the Bible Study Center and decked it out with flowers, pretty tablecloths and tea goodies fit for the most prominent of people. Being with the church that day was a true blessing to our hearts and gave us the 'hug' that we needed so badly.


     


    (re-enactment photo / several important people missing =0)


    Since our arrival, we've shared a couple of ladie's bible classes, girl's classes and worship services with our little church and amidst the trying to get settled back in, even managed to steal a couple of days away in the country to re-group with Mike, Deb, Jaime, Geoff, Speedy and Nancy. Speedy has been coming to Estonia during the month of February for the last 8 years. This year a need for quadruple, by-pass heart surgery delayed his coming but he couldn't be put off for long. His love for this country is contagious and we were so blessed to be with he and his wife for a 3-day time of prayer, evaluation, brainstorming, goal setting and renewal. We have lots of new ideas ... now if God would send more workers!



    We are still trying to get settled back into a routine ... our new normal. I will not say it has been easy. Our bodies are truly weary ... and our hearts continue to feel broken. Some days feel heavy. Some days we feel crushed and beaten down. Some days we fight fear and loneliness. Some days we doubt ourselves and we ask God why He wants us here. Some days we don't understand.  Yet, even in the midst of these things, we know this full well ... God is with us!


    "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.


    When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.


    For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior ...


    You are precious and honored in my sight  ... I love you ...


    Do not be afraid, for I am with you "  Isaiah 43: 1-5


     


    May you also know the peace of His presence this day. God Bless. pj

March 28, 2006

  • We have safely arrived in South Carolina after several weeks of travel.
    Our bodies are weary but our hearts are full of the comfort that we
    received along the way.

    Our first stop was Orlando, Florida ... Disney World. I admit it was a
    difficult thing for me to do after such a short time had passed since
    Dustin's death but it was definitely what Kayli needed. As a tribute to
    Dustin, we rode all the crazy, twirly, twisty roller coasters/ rides that we knew he
    would have loved and we laughed as we imagined together how he would have whooped
    and hollered on them all.

    From Orlando, we headed to Summerdale, Alabama where we were blessed to
    visit with Dustin's girlfriend, with the church and with some special
    friends, Billy and Louise,
    who ministered to us with the knowledge of what it is like to lose a
    child. Their daughter was lost just shortly after giving birth almost
    six years ago. We arrived on their daughter's birthday so we celebrated
    Dustin and Allison's life, mourned their loss and shared memories of
    the joys they brought to our lives. Being there was a precious gift.

    From Alabama, we were off  to Arkansas to visit the church in
    Bryant and with our special adopted family, the Lunsfords, who have
    also experienced the loss of not one but two sons. We spent a
    few days taking care of some of Dustin's business affairs but had the
    blessing of sharing some wonderful fellowship with those we loved there
    as well. We had a singing night, shared Dustin's memorial slide-show
    with the church, received lots of hugs and blessings, spent an evening
    with the families of Dustin's best friends and ate at Ruby Tuesday in Dustin's honor (that's where he worked for 4 years).

    Our next stop was Granbury, Texas. The Granbury church has been an
    unbelievable gift from God to us. They are our sponsoring congregation
    for our mission work in Tartu but they are much more than that. They
    are our family.
    I cannot even begin to describe the amazing ways they have cared for us
    and how they continue to minister to us in our hurt and loss. They fed
    us, housed us, loved on us, prayed over us, counseled us, gifted us and
    held on to us. For these great blessings, we are very grateful.

    While we were in Granbury, we took a quick trip to Lubbock, made a
    presentation on Estonia at SIBI (Sunset International Bible Institute),
    visited with special friends there and got to have some more family
    time with our daughter Lacey, her husband Justin and those precious
    grandbabies; Andrea, Lexi and Jenna. I am so thankful I got to give
    those little sweeties one last hug before having to head back this way.
    Sure was hard to say good-bye though.

    So ... now we are back in South Carolina, attempting to stuff in as
    much family time with Amber, Courtney and their families as possible,
    tie-up the loose ends of Dustin's business, get Jared ready to return
    to the Ukraine on April 2nd and get ourselves ready to return to
    Estonia.

    Our plan is to return to Estonia on April 10th. We are looking forward
    to getting back to the work God has for us there, ministering to the
    hearts of the Estonians that we love so well, and to get our life back
    to normal, whatever that means for us now.

    A few years ago I was diagnosed with a muscle disorder that for me,
    physically, meant that I had a new normal. It meant my normal day would
    be filled with pain. Over the years, I've learned to live with that
    pain ... some days it's worse than others. I don't like it or enjoy it
    but I've learned to live with it. At times, I've even been able to feel
    grateful for the pain. It's helped me to slow down, take stock and soak up the
    richness of His gifts. It's helped me to realize how
    blessed I am and it's helped me to be more understanding and
    compassionate of others who are in pain.

    Today, I have a new heart
    pain. What was normal before January 15th, is no longer normal ... I
    have a new normal. Now, my normal day is filled with reminders that I
    have lost something precious and every day seems to be filled with
    tears ... some days are worse than others. I don't like it or enjoy it
    but I'm learning to live with it. At times, I'm even able to be
    grateful for the pain. It is helping me to slow down, take stock and soak up the
    richness of His gifts. It's helping me to realize how
    blessed I am and it's helping me to be more understanding and
    compassionate of others who are in pain.

    For
    He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted ... to comfort all who
    mourn ...
    to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
    the oil
    of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of
    despair.  Isaiah 61: 1-3

    God is binding up our broken hearts, comforting us as we mourn and giving us cause to praise Him at every turn.

    Thank you all for your prayers and your care.

    We love you!

February 9, 2006

  • Thank you all for continuing to keep us in your prayers.

    The days and nights are sometimes hard. Tears come in floods without
    permission and the feelings of disbelief come in waves, as well. 
    The weight of our sorrow sometimes feels too heavy to bear but God's
    loving arms never leave us. We are constantly comforted knowing He
    understands our pain and seeks to tenderly bind up our broken hearts.

    We are reminded everyday that our son meant so much to so many people
    ... and to our country, he is a hero. It is a great comfort to a
    parent's heart to know that your child made a difference in the lives
    of others. Even though our wounds are raw right now, we know that a
    time will come when we'll be able to focus completely on the amazing man
    that our baby boy turned out to be.

    We will leave South Carolina tomorrow to begin some traveling. We will
    take a week in Orlando, Florida and then head to Texas by way of
    Alabama and Arkansas. We look forward to leaning on some special
    friends along the way and then spending some healing time with our
    incredible sponsoring congregation in Granbury.

    Please continue to petition God on our behalf. Pains such as this do
    not heal quickly but we are confident that God is the only avenue to
    the peace and comfort we desire.

    We love you all,

    Brandi, Penny and Kayli

January 22, 2006




  • There is


    ... a time to laugh and a time to cry


    ... a time to rejoice and a time to mourn


    ... a time to live and a time to die


    We are laughing and crying and rejoicing and mourning. Some moments the sorrow seems as if though it is unbearable but God is gracious and merciful. We know that He is holding us up and helping us face each day.


    A memorial was held last week for our son in Lousiana ... some 200 attended. Many news stations have done pieces on Dustin and some articles have been written.


    To view the Lousiana news story go to:


    www.kplctv.com  ... Search Hometown Patriot: Dustin Kendall


    One of the articles written can be found at:


     http://www.kthv.com/news/news.aspx?aid=21536&storyid=22907&bw=


     


    On Saturday, January 20th, we celebrated with many more, the life of our son,


    Corporal Dustin Lee Kendall


    He was 21 years old and a blessing to us all.


    We will bury him in Arlington National Cemetary on Wednesday, @ 1 p.m., among many other men who have died fighting for the freedoms we all enjoy.


    Please continue to pray for us as we mourn the death of our son and rejoice for the life we shared with him.


    A website called "Remembrance" is set up in honor of those men who have died in service to our country. If you would like to leave a comment in his guestbook, please go to



     

     

January 16, 2006

  • We just received word a few hours ago that our son, Dustin, was killed in the line of duty in Iraq on Sunday, January 15.


    We are in shock, of course, but we've received many phone calls and letters already and feel God's presence even in this tremendous loss. Right now, we are celebrating the life of our son and thanking God for the time he gave us with him. He was precious to our heart.