September 12, 2006

  • I've tried to find the words to share the thoughts that have weighed upon my heart these past few days ... the knowing, the understanding, the hurting for those who have lost and grieve. 

    Water Ripples September 11, 2001 rocked our country ... close to 3000 died that day. I can't help but think and pray for the families of those who were lost and how their lives were changed forever. Of course, those are not the only ones who felt loss that day ... or would feel the affect from it later. Like the water that has experienced the impact of a rock thrown upon it ... every choice, every action, every experience ... ripples over the lives of others.

    I remember watching the events unfold on the news the morning it all began. If I could have forgotten, I was once again reminded as I watched for a moment the replays of those broadcasts by streamline video online yesterday. I felt sick to my stomach as those feelings of shock and disbelief came to confront me once more.

    We couldn't have known that day that the ripple would soon encompass our own family in a very profound way. We couldn't have known that day that our son, Cpl. Dustin Lee Kendall, would take up arms to provide freedom for those he had never met, to provide freedom for those he loved and to do his part to make sure that a tragedy like September 11, 2001 never happened again. We couldn't have known that day that he would die on Iraqi soil fighting for what he believed was more important than his own life  ... but he did ... and the ripple from September 11 came to meet us full force. 

    Sometimes ripples feel more like waves and they threaten to knock you down. Sometimes you have to fight just to stand up ... gracefulness is not a concern or an option ... you are just fighting with everything you have to stay on your feet and not land on your face in the water. Sometimes you feel totally alone in your struggle and you fear that your fatigue from fighting will eventually overtake you. Sometimes you feel like you are in the last moments of going under and drowning. And, to be truthful ... sometimes you are almost willing to give up and let it happen.

    A friend reminded me shortly after Dustin's death, that God gives us the exact amount of grace we need to handle whatever situation He allows us to be in. I'm so thankful for that truth ... and for that promise. When my strength for fighting is exhausted, when my arms stop flailing and splashing about, when I am sure I'm about to drown, and when there is silence ... I hear God's call to surrender ... and when I do, He holds me up.

    "Fear not ... when you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you ... For I am the Lord, your God"   Isaiah 43:2,3

    May you know His grace, may you surrender to His care and may you feel the arms that hold you up so that the waters will not sweep over you.

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