May 11, 2006

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  We have a friend who has a lot of little sayings to remind her children to be of good character. Over the years, we’ve adopted some of her ‘~isms’ and made them our own. It seems the one we have repeated more than any other has been:

  
  

                                        

  
  

  “There is nothing more precious than a grateful child …

  
  

  and the opposite is also true”.

  
  

   

  
  

  As we’ve raised our children and ministered to others who are doing so, I’ve come to believe that the problem of ungratefulness plays a powerful role into the attitudes of rebellion, pride, anger, greed, intolerance, selfishness and so much more.

  
  

   

  
  

  And for me … even though I know that my motive for doing things should not be to receive thanks, I just want to do more for those who are thankful. I just like to be appreciated!

  
  

   

  
  

  I think God likes to be appreciated too. So much so that there are close to 150 references to praise and thanks in the NIV version of the Bible.

  
  

   

  
  

  Paul, in his letter to the Romans, speaks of the foolishness of ungrateful men.

  
  

   

  
  

  “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools”    Romans 1:21, 22

  
  

   

  
  

  He talks about all the blessings around them that could be clearly seen, but weren’t. The sin that led to the depravity and idolatry he speaks of?  … failing to be thankful.

  
  

   

  
  

  So … I have this little notebook. I call it my ‘Gratefulness Journal’. In this little book, I keep a running list of the blessings and gifts that God lovingly bestows on me … the things that make me smile. Doing this keeps my mind focused on who God is. Some of the things on my list are monumental and some are simple … all, however, are my clearly seen reasons to give praise and thanks.

  
  

   

  
  

  It’s been almost four months since Dustin was killed in Iraq. These last months have been difficult ones. Losing our son has taken us to a darker place than we’ve ever been before. Our wound is deep and our hearts feel a pain that sometimes feels too much to bear. Even so … in the course of our journey, God has comforted us and blessed us in so many incredible ways. Some of His gifts have been monumental … some have been simple … all however, have been clearly seen reasons to give Him praise and thanks.

  
  

   

  
  

  We’d like to tell you all about the Shapes and Sizes of God’s Comfort since we began our journey but that would take quite a while.

  
  

   

  
  

  Instead, we’d just like to share our list with you … 

  
  

    

  
  

  
  

  That God orchestrated it so our friend, Ken, would be able to tell us of Dustin’s death

  
  

   

  
  

  That Mike and Deb held our hands and our hearts after we heard

  
  

   

  
  

  For Deb’s hand on my shoulder while I called my kids to tell them the news

  
  

   

  
  

  For Deb, who cleaned our flat, washed clothes, mopped my floors, brought me tea, made my bed … got me ready to leave Estonia

  
  

   

  
  

  For Janice who helped clean Kayli’s room and brought us dinner … and helped the Tartu girls finish their sewing project for the homeless while we were gone

  
  

   

  
  

  That the Army paid for Kayli’s trip to the States, even though it wasn’t ‘protocol’

  
  

   

  
  

  For the sweet man on the airplane in Charleston who said, ‘Thank you for your sacrifice for my freedom’

  
  

   

  
  

  For the military escort from the airport

  
  

   

  
  

  For our Army CAO’s (Casualty Assistance Officers) in Estonia, South Carolina & Arlington

  
  

   

  
  

  For church members who brought blankets, shampoo, diapers, laundry detergent, milk and orange juice every morning, food … food … food

  
  

   

  
  

  For Flora who organized all the food and washed dishes … forever

  
  

   

  
  

  For Wayne who took Kayli (on his motorcycle) to get her hair cut before the memorial svc.

  
  

   

  
  

  For Granbury friends who got off the airplane, put on their blue jeans and unpacked Amber’s moving truck

  
  

   

  
  

  For Claudia who brought books to the kids to help in their grieving

  
  

   

  
  

  For letters / photos from Dustin’s friends

  
  

   

  
  

  For special friends who came from far away to attend his memorial service and Arlington service

  
  

   

  
  

  For the Summerville church who fed us and our guests at the memorial service

  
  

   

  
  

  For phone calls from old friends

  
  

   

  
  

  For the Kathy Troccoli “Comfort” CD from Gretta

  
  

   

  
  

  For the many, many gifts of love … money to help with expenses, books, haircuts, eye exams, dr’s. visits, dinner dates, massages, quilt from the 4^th infantry wives

  
  

   

  
  

  For Mary, my long time friend, who got up at 6 a.m., to come make us her famous ‘strawberry pancakes’ … just because she loves us.

  
  

   

  
  

  For the many flowers, plants and memorial gifts in his name

  
  

   

  
  

  For the people who have lost children and were (are) willing to share their hearts with us

  
  

   

  
  

  For the scrapbooks, video, programs, etc. that the Army sent from their memorial services for Dustin

  
  

   

  
  

  For my sweet son-in-laws who made the slide show for the memorial service

  
  

   

  
  

  For funny stories from Dustin’s friends

  
  

   

  
  

  For tributes, articles and news stories

  
  

   

  
  

  For flags flown at half-staff over the U.S. Capital and the Arkansas State Capital … and for receiving them

  
  

   

  
  

  For the people in Delaware who made it possible for us to see our sweet boy, one more time

  
  

   

  
  

  For letters of condolence from the Army, government officials and … President Bush

  
  

   

  
  

  For Brad and Allen ~ Dustin’s best friends

  
  

   

  
  

  For Allen’s gift to Kayli … in Dustin’s honor

  
  

   

  
  

  For Dustin’s heart of generosity shared ~ the stories of him giving his money away (when we thought he was just blowing it)

  
  

   

  
  

  For the beautiful service at Arlington

  
  

   

  
  

  That Dustin received the ‘Bronze Star’ for outstanding service

  
  

   

  
  

  For the duplicate of Dustin’s flag / medals presented to his brother/sisters at Arlington

  
  

   

  
  

  For God’s provision

  
  

   

  
  

  For friends willing to just sit with us … cry with us … listen to us

  
  

   

  
  

  For the lake house in Granbury, so we had a chance to be alone … and for a full freezer of food when we arrived

  
  

   

  
  

  For HUGS!!

  
  

   

  
  

  For Jenna’s sweet hug when I was crying … “Grammy, ya cry-un?” … “Ya, sad?” … “Unca Dussin?” … “I saw-ree”

  
  

   

  
  

  For Courtney’s amazing, generous heart

  
  

   

  
  

  For the hearts of Dustin’s big sisters … and his little one

  
  

   

  
  

  For Jared's heart .. and his many hugs

  
  

   

  
  

  For SGT Hall, our South Carolina CAO and new family friend

  
  

   

  
  

  For laughter in the midst of pain

  
  

   

  
  

  For memories of good times shared

  
  

   

  
  

  For hundreds of cards and emails

  
  

   

  
  

  For the memorial slide show from Iraq

  
  

   

  
  

  For the "In Remembrance"  guestbook

  
  

   

  
  

  For the tribute ~ "The Experience"

  
  

   

  
  

  For Jen, Dustin’s special girl … and ours

  
  

   

  
  

  For the “Hero” statue from Amber

  
  

   

  
  

  For the scrapbook and photo book made by Courtney

  
  

   

  
  

  For the renewal of old friendships

  
  

   

  
  

  For new friends made

  
  

   

  
  

  For John, who made Court his prayer ‘project’ and for being our special friend

  
  

   

  
  

  For Karen … What can I say?!! There is too much to list

  
  

   

  
  

  For watching “Pink Panther” and eating Mexican food with George

  
  

   

  
  

  For the pewter angel from Karen

  
  

   

  
  

  For my ‘memorial’ bracelet

  
  

   

  
  

  For all the ‘grandmas’ who reached out and loved on Kayli

  
  

   

  
  

  For those who took Kayli home for the weekend so she could just be a ‘little girl’

  
  

   

  
  

  That Jared could go on the Mexico mission trip and for his safe return

  
  

   

  
  

  For friends at the airport

  
  

   

  
  

  For kind words from strangers

  
  

   

  
  

  For the insensitive words that will help us remember to guard our tongues in the future

  
  

   

  
  

  For Jimmy who drove all the way from Louisiana to South Carolina with Amber, so she wouldn’t have to drive alone

  
  

   

  
  

  For friends who understand and know that a hug is better than a thousand words

  
  

   

  
  

  For the bronze statue from the Army with Dustin’s name on it … “Fallen Soldier”

  
  

   

  
  

  For Dustin’s Army friends in Iraq who loved him and miss him

  
  

   

  
  

  For those who were with him after the accident … and held him until he was taken to the hospital

  
  

   

  
  

  For his captain and sergeant who were with him at the hospital when he died

  
  

   

  
  

  For Dustin’s military reward coins that were sent from the Army

  
  

   

  
  

  For the little velvet bags that held his wallet, his dog tags and his watch ~ the things he had with him when he died

  
  

   

  
  

  That his body was attended and escorted from his death to his burial

  
  

   

  
  

  For the ‘Honor Guard’ at Arlington

  
  

   

  
  

  For the Brigadier General who escorted me to the burial site and cried when he presented me with Dustin’s Bronze Star

  
  

   

  
  

  For the chaplain at Arlington who reminded us that Dustin no longer needs faith ~ now he has knowledge

  
  

   

  
  

  For the people in Maryland who kept us (and all the girls and their families) and fed us so we could be close to Arlington Cemetery

  
  

   

  
  

  That Kathy & David were at his memorial service in Ft. Carson

  
  

   

  
  

  For books on grieving / pictures of heaven

  
  

   

  
  

  For old photos

  
  

   

  
  

  For video of Dustin the last time we were together as a family ~ for the special message from him that said ‘I love you mom and dad’

  
  

   

  
  

  For Dustin’s “my.space” where he said that his mom and dad were his heroes

  
  

   

  
  

  For his friend that told us about the ‘my.space’ page

  
  

   

  
  

  For grandbaby giggles / hugs

  
  

   

  
  

  For son-in-laws, who were also his special friends

  
  

   

  
  

  For Dustin’s gifts to us

  
  

   

  
  

  For Linda’s reassurance … and her prayer on the phone

  
  

   

  
  

  For the Vietnam veteran’s gift of the memorial lithograph that he’s had for 30 years

  
  

   

  
  

  That Dane made a special presentation page with a photo and history of the lithograph so we could keep it with us

  
  

   

  
  

  For Nathan’s gift to Brandi

  
  

   

  
  

  For the shadow box from Kim/Eric with the poem written by Gayla before she died

  
  

   

  
  

  That the scripture says that Dustin’s spirit has been ‘perfected’ and now he is among our ‘cloud of witnesses’

  
  

   

  
  

  That we found Dustin’s ‘Rufus’ in his treasure box

  
  

   

  
  

  For the care package from Deb ~ a tea party in a box

  
  

   

  
  

  For the hours that Adrian spent working on the ‘updated’ memorial slide show … and for the hours he and Court spent copying, addressing and mailing the 30+ copies to those who wanted one

  
  

   

  
  

  For those who said how much it meant to receive one

  
  

   

  
  

  Finding Dustin’s letters from boot-camp

  
  

   

  
  

  Invitations to lunch, supper and coffee

  
  

   

  
  

  Sharing w/ the church at Bryant

  
  

   

  
  

  Seeing everyone at Summerdale

  
  

   

  
  

  Sharing Allison’s birthday with Billy and Louise … and for the time we had to remember together our sweet babies that we had lost

  
  

   

  
  

  For the elderly lady who told us of the time Dustin took her to lunch because she was lonely … and for the elderly man who remembered the times when Dustin went fishing with him

  
  

   

  
  

  For the ‘Honor Wall’ at Ruby Tuesday’s

  
  

   

  
  

  For receiving his personal belongings and finding his bible ~ with the little (post-it) love notes I had tucked in it before I mailed it to him at boot-camp, still there

  
  

   

  
  

  For eating ‘Alfredo/Mushroom Steak’ (his favorite) at Ruby Tuesday’s with people who loved him

  
  

   

  
  

  For the memorial car magnets from the people he worked with

  
  

   

  
  

  For Kevin, who helped do his taxes

  
  

   

  
  

  For the secretaries/staff at Granbury

  
  

   

  
  

  For Hershey’s Hugs / Kisses from Kat

  
  

   

  
  

  For Wilma being the ‘mom’ I don’t have

  
  

   

  
  

  For Mamma Wilma’s hospitality and Papa Ray’s stories … and his tears

  
  

   

  
  

  For dinner at Cracker Barrel with Ray/Wilma and the Bagley’s, for old times sake

  
  

   

  
  

  For the phone call from my dad

  
  

   

  
  

  For fellowship with Todd/Jen

  
  

   

  
  

  For the memory of Dustin telling Kayli the last time we were together … “Just do whatever mom tells you, trust me, it’s easier”

  
  

   

  
  

  For finding the little sign in his personal belongings that I had made him as a joke … “If all else fails, do it the way your mother told you to”

  
  

   

  
  

  Finding out that he had taken the afghan I had made him all the way to Iraq

  
  

   

  
  

  Knowing the church in Tartu was being taken care of while we were away ~ Mike, Geoff, and Zach driving there every week

  
  

   

  
  

  For Jaime’s photograph of Dustin

  
  

   

  
  

  For our trip to Disney World … and the gift of the condo there

  
  

   

  
  

  For ‘love notes’ from Estonia

  
  

   

  
  

  For Pille who took care of everything while we were away … and made sure my plants were well fed

  
  

   

  
  

   … and so much more

  
  
  

  Our gifts of God’s care and comfort have come through those of you who He sent in our time of need. We are forever grateful! May God bless you as much as you have blessed us.

  • 5:13 pm
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