April 27, 2006

• It's been over two weeks since we returned to Estonia and we've managed to stay pretty busy since our arrival.

  
  

  We were welcomed back to our little 'home-away-from-home' by a special greeting party ... Mike, Debbie, Jaime, Ron, Judy, Speedy, Mary, Julia and Lydia. What a blessing to be greeted by such beautiful faces.

  
  

  We spent a few days with the Bank's family in Tallinn before heading home to Tartu. We had a lot to catch up on ~ all that had gone on in Estonia in our absence and all that had gone on with our family since Dustin's death. We've known the Bank's family for more than 25 years and our families have truthfully grown up together. The loss we have felt, they have felt as well. We spent many hours sharing his memorial service/slide show, telling stories, laughing  ... and crying together, as we remembered our sweet boy and realized what a hole we all feel in our lives since he has left this earth.

  
  

  We returned to Tartu on Friday, the 14th, one day short of the 3-month anniversary of Dustin's death. I confess ...  it was much more difficult than I expected it to be. Standing in my kitchen the next day, I realized that I had stood in that very place exactly 3 months before ... our son was taking his last breath, being escorted by an honor guard of angels to his new home in Paradise and I didn't know it. Maybe if I had been in a quiet place, I would have heard the angels singing as they brought him into the open arms of Jesus. What a beautiful sound that must have been!

  
  

  As God always does, he knew exactly what we needed. Our arrival at church the next morning was met with an enthusiastic shout of  "Surprise"! Other than the fact that I almost had a heart attack, that was wonderful . Our precious church had made a huge "Welcome Home" sign for the foyer, cleaned up the Bible Study Center and decked it out with flowers, pretty tablecloths and tea goodies fit for the most prominent of people. Being with the church that day was a true blessing to our hearts and gave us the 'hug' that we needed so badly.

  
  

   

  
  

  (re-enactment photo / several important people missing =0)

  
  

  Since our arrival, we've shared a couple of ladie's bible classes, girl's classes and worship services with our little church and amidst the trying to get settled back in, even managed to steal a couple of days away in the country to re-group with Mike, Deb, Jaime, Geoff, Speedy and Nancy. Speedy has been coming to Estonia during the month of February for the last 8 years. This year a need for quadruple, by-pass heart surgery delayed his coming but he couldn't be put off for long. His love for this country is contagious and we were so blessed to be with he and his wife for a 3-day time of prayer, evaluation, brainstorming, goal setting and renewal. We have lots of new ideas ... now if God would send more workers!

  
  

  

  
  

  We are still trying to get settled back into a routine ... our new normal. I will not say it has been easy. Our bodies are truly weary ... and our hearts continue to feel broken. Some days feel heavy. Some days we feel crushed and beaten down. Some days we fight fear and loneliness. Some days we doubt ourselves and we ask God why He wants us here. Some days we don't understand.  Yet, even in the midst of these things, we know this full well ... God is with us!

  
  

  "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

  
  

  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

  
  

  For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior ...

  
  

  You are precious and honored in my sight  ... I love you ...

  
  

  Do not be afraid, for I am with you "  Isaiah 43: 1-5

  
  

   

  
  

  May you also know the peace of His presence this day. God Bless. pj

  • 6:09 pm
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